Will You CHOOSE The Spirit of a Champion or that of a Victim?

Overcoming Obstacles and Persisting On Against All Odds

This is probably the most heart felt topic I can talk about as I have definitely had my share of ups and downs when it has come to building my dreams, both in my business, personal life and fitness goals.

What I want to share with you here should not only inspire you, but also provide you with some great tips and strategies that you can implement to make sure you stay the course and never feel like you have FAILED again in ANYTHING that you set out to do.

And let me define FAILURE right up front here before we get into this thing...

You see, I’ve been coached on this and I feel it is the absolute truth - FAILURE ONLY occurs the moment you GIVE UP and STOP trying!  

“Failure is being knocked down and refusing 

to get back up again!”

Until that moment happens, you have just experienced a set back, an obstacle or struggle in which you must overcome without it allowing to defeat to you.

In my personal life, all my struggles, no matter how uncomfortable or unfair they seemed to be at the time, have been growing experiences that have built my character and given me new insight to achieving my goals or moving myself further along with my ambitions.  

I can certainly tell you this; NOTHING has ever worked out the way I PLANNED for it to... and I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.

Does that mean I was happy when my first business went under or that I enjoyed each injury that slowed me down or set me way back in my strength training?  Absolutely not.  However, the final outcome of those experiences have been life changing for the better.

What If I had never gone through those two huge events (failures) in my life? 

Would that of changed who I am today - OR

Was going through those struggles maybe the BEST thing that DID happen to me - 

A closed door to one business that has brought me much more happiness and success in another and injuries that have enabled me to be better connected to my cliental so that I can coach and share those experiences so that maybe THEY won’t have to suffer the setbacks that I have.

You see, I FIRMLY believe in the positive outcome of EVERY situation, its just sometimes hard to see when you’re going through the thick of it all.

Maybe you’re going through something right now, something thats holding you back from your full potential, something that weighs heavily on your heart, something that you feel no-one else would understand, something where you may feel you’re all alone in, something where you don’t see a way out, something that keeps bringing you down no matter how hard you try...

I don’t know your circumstances or situations, however, I do believe that with a courageous spirit, a positive attitude and fierce determination, you can get through whatever life throws at you.

I like what Best Selling Author and motivational speaker Andy Andrews has to say about life.

He says, in life there are 3 stages and these 3 stages repeat themselves again and again and again... 

And those 3 stages are, You’re either Headed Into a Crisis, Going through a Crisis or Just coming out of a Crisis.

Fact is, everyone goes through their trials and tribulations, its just a matter of how you HANDLE THEM that I separates those who come out ahead and stronger from those who allow their circumstances to control WHO they are and WHAT they do!

And again, the only variable factor is YOU.  YOUR MINDSET will truly allow you to overcome whatever it is in front of you or defeat you.

Will you CHOOSE the mindset and spirit of a Champion or that of a Victim?

This is the MOST important question you should ask yourself whenever you feel like quitting, getting down on yourself and whining about how life isn't fair.

Life isn't fair... period!  Anyone who tries to convey the message that everything should be fair, that someone else should take care of you, that you've been cheated and are a victim of circumstances are doing nothing but WEAKENING you and your abilities!

Do NOT play into that crap.  If you truly want to know what you have inside and know what you're made of, don't ever fall into the victim trap - that's all it is, a TRAP and what it creates is bonds and chains to keep you captive.  Soon enough, you become a SLAVE to circumstances and you'll start looking for excuses to everything in your life.

When you get into this trap, its very hard to get out of and in my personal opinion, nobody is more miserable than someone who is a victim!  I hate being around them!

Now I've heard and I'll even acknowledge the argument that some people seem to get it way worse than others.

And you know what, there may be some truth to that BUT I refuse to look at it that way.  I honestly think we are meant to go through what ever life throws at us for a reason that is OUR OWN.

That same situation or obstacle given to anyone else other than the intended recipient and they would be crushed.  

When a person gets through a situation and overcomes it with integrity, strength and courage they'll often learn a life lesson that helps them grow stronger, build their character, become wiser, etc.

Take this experience away from that person and you haven't helped them at all.  In fact, you've just helped them become more weak and soft in the mind, body and spirit!

Please don't confuse this with the fact that we shouldn't help out our fellow man.  I'm definitely someone who looks out for others but I won't ever weaken someone by condoning activities that I know are destroying them and being an enabler.

Its the whole, Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day but teach a man to fish and he'll never starve analogy.

Now I'll tell ya, there are definitely those that never seem to learn (just scroll down your Facebook feed, you'll see all the "victims" out there!), and bring even more onto themselves - and to those repeat offenders I would say, WAKE UP, LIFE is trying to TEACH YOU SOMETHING!

You see, I’ve learned when you get down and out and DECIDE to stay there, more stuff piles up on you, because you won’t find the way out - HOWEVER, when you face things head on with a positive attitude, you’ll discover a different perspective and answer to the challenge you’re faced with... and sometimes, a new perspective IS the answer!

So what is it that separates those that seem to be able to take on ANYTHING and come out on top whereas others seem to continue to get crushed by life.

To me it comes down to 2 things.

#1 - What is REALLY important to you

#2 - What are you going to do to CHANGE yourself or your circumstances!

Lets look at this from a hypothetical situation.

We have Jade and Jordan (you know, the two girls from Netelos)

Ok, so both Jade and Jordan decide its time to get in shape, lose weight and look great in bikinis for Summer so they both hire a personal trainer to get the job done.

After meeting with the same trainer they both agree to a program in which they will work with the trainer 3 times per week for the next 12 weeks.  The trainer gives them an assignment that he knows will help them prepare for their first workout session.  Jade does the assignment, Jordan does not.

Jade shows up to her first appointment 15 minutes early as the assignment requested and the trainer starts preparing her for the workout with tips and instructions on what they'll be doing.  Jordan strolls in right at the time of the scheduled appointment and is not properly prepared.

Both of them struggle through their first workout, however, Jade has determination and focus and asks important questions while Jordan complains and makes comments that interrupts the session.

Once the session is complete the trainer reinforces the first homework assignment and gives them another one to complete before their next session.

At the next session, Jade has completed her assignment, feels sore but yet fresh and energized to take on the workout.  Jordan arrives to the gym late with excuses and complaining about being miserably sore.  Jade improves on her second workout while Jordan barely makes it through.

This kind of trend continues to happen during the girls 12 week program.  Jade keeps a positive outlook and clear focus on her goals, even though its tough and has times when she wants to skip a workout or cheat with her nutrition.  She keeps giving her best and her hard work starts to show within the first 3 weeks and that helps to keep her motivated to continue on.

Jordan will do well for a few workouts but continues to find excuses so she never progresses like she thinks she ought to be.  Three weeks into it, she starts blaming her trainer for lack of results.  Her trainer continues to educate, coach and try to motivate her but Jordan's frustration keeps her from listening.

Both Jade and Jordan have times during the 12 week program in which they are tired and life continues to throw obstacles in their path.  Jade communicates with her trainer anytime she needs to move her appointment or follows the advice of what she can do at home to make up a session when work gets in the way.  Jordan does not, she just misses workouts and chalks it up with more excuses of why "she can't."

12 weeks go by and Jade is in her bikini on the beach, Jordan is not.

So out of this hypothetical situation, you’ll see that Jade, the one who chose to give it her all and chose to make her new lifestyle an absolute priority set a no excuses attitude and achieved her goals while Jordan wasn’t truly ready to change herself or her circumstances.

What was the difference between the two girls?  The difference was their mindsets.  Even though  they both faced the same challenges of the workouts, changing their eating habits and working through soreness and daily obstacles including hectic work schedules, Jade CHOSE to keep pursuing her goals, even when she may not of really wanted to.  Jordan CHOSE to make excuses.

Ok, so I agree that not being able to sit on the beach in a bikini is not really a horrible consequence to not sticking with a workout plan.  

But what if I told you Jade continued on with her new lifestyle of health and fitness and was able to lead a very healthy life well into her 50s 60s 70s and on while Jordan became more and more sedentary, overweight, weak and on medications for hypertension and high cholesterol and never got to enjoy the quality of life she really wanted to.

That changes the scenario quite a bit!

Now I know, its much easier said than done.  We all have times were we wish we would of handled situations and things differently.  The important thing is to learn from those mistakes and not repeat them, especially when they have negative consequences.

Here are some Tips to Stay the Course (and what has really helped me)

#1 - MAKE IT PRIORITY - What ever is important to you, make it an OBSESSION!  I am obsessed with getting into the gym and lifting heavy weights.  Thats just me, its what I LOVE to do.

#2 - NOTHING is a matter of life and death, EXCEPT for life and death (quit treating everything like its the worse thing that has ever happened to you)

#3 - Embrace the Process and LEARN from the experiences.  You are going to have disappointments from others and yourself.  You're going to have challenges, remember, you're either IN a crisis, coming out of a crisis or headed into a crisis.  Don't develop a victim attitude and don't fall into the trap!

#4 - HELP OTHERS!  You’ll have no time for depression if you’re spending your time helping somebody else who needs it!

#5 - HAVE FUN!  - If you live life too seriously, you’ll never make it out alive - Van Wilder

In closing I’d like to share this quote - Rocky Balboa.

The world isn't all Sunshines and Rainbows.  Its a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it'll beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.  You, me, nobody is going to hit as hard as life.  But its not about how hard you hit, its about how hard you can GET hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward.  That's how winning is done.  Now if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth.  But you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers saying you're not where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody... Cowards do that and that ain't you, You're Better Than That!

Go out and conquer, You ARE A Champion!

Sean "Mayhem" Murphy