You know, Friday's are kind of bitter-sweet for me; it means the beginning of the weekend, which is usually filled with some good down time spent with my son, Hunter, my girlfriend Lori and our crazy Dawg Penny.
This weekend will be a bit different as we are taking on the Tough Mudder tomorrow morning AND its Lori's Birthday so we'll be living it up a bit :D
Here's a pic of all of us at the Chancellorsville Battlefield taken this past fall.
But it also means the end to another Fun-filled week of training members at our facility, Mayhem Fitness & Cross Training.
For the typical person working a 9-5, Friday's are highly anticipated and the weekend can't come soon enough. Then of course, the dreaded Monday rolls around and its back to the daily grind, trading their hours for dollars.
I recall these days all too well...
I remember Sunday nights being filled with anxiety, stress and often depression... Monday HAVING to get up and work long hours to earn an income.
Now, don't get me wrong, it was never that I didn't appreciate hard work. In fact, its only when I put forth the effort to Get Work Done that I feel good about myself and these days I work just as hard if not harder then ever before.
But there is a difference in my life between the past and where I am at now... The difference lies within my Passion!
At one time in my life, before I became a certified personal trainer, I was working for a trucking company in Fredericksburg VA and I truly loved the work. I spent my days loading these freight trucks with various items that would be distributed to convenience stores, fast food restaurants, and Wal-Mart chains.
The work was intense to say the least as everything was loaded by hand so I honestly got a great workout each and every day.
My co-workers quickly became great friends and through the help of Facebook I still stay in contact with some of the boys today even though I'm an hour away and its been over 10 years since I've worked there - Wow, has it really been that long.
I actually loved this job because of the work and the friends I made and because I was providing for my family.
But something was missing, I always had this burning desire to be more, to do more although I was very proud that I had a job that provided what we needed. I knew however, that I wasn't in control of my destiny there and I didn't like the politics of upper management.
I knew there was no room for growth for me because I never wanted to move up the success ladder they provided by becoming a team leader, manager, supervisor, etc. I didn't like how the company used many of these "leaders."
I don't think these people were bad in any way and looking back I have a much greater understanding of why things worked the way they did in such a large company and I can appreciate it; but I still wouldn't want any of those positions, for much different reasons today though.
My mind was made up, I would never be a sell-out so the way I saw it I had two choices; one, continue working as a truck loader and get paid what they told me I was worth or follow my hearts love, which was and still is, fitness.
At this same time that I was working for this trucking company I was also studying and learning more about working out and nutrition. I was overcoming a back injury that I had sustained from the military and was a bit over weight when I first landed the truck loading job. I actually used my workday as one tool for me to help lose the extra weight, which truly made the job so much more fun and rewarding.
My teammate and I would actually time ourselves on how fast we could load our trucks. The typical truck took about four hours to load and we averaged 2 trucks per day... we loved to get each truck done in 3 hours or less.
Of course, we needed to do a good job and load these trucks in a manner that wouldn't be unsafe to the drivers, so there was a little bit of a science to doing it right...
Its funny, because every time I have to pack my truck up with stuff like groceries or for vacation I use the techniques of this previous job and it does take me back to the "good ol days."
I can pack everything so tight that nothing moves around and every inch of space is utilized. Loading these trucks daily was like piecing together a giant puzzle.
Ok, so as I was losing weight and studying, my co-workers witnessed my transformation and began asking questions in regards to their own workouts. I did the best I could with my rookie knowledge and we would have some fun conversations and even mini workouts in the back of the trucks doing pull-up and push-up challenges.
I would come home from work and train in my basement, just killing it with everything I knew to do. I would use every exercise program out of the bodybuilding magazines. My workouts would sometimes last 2 hours or more. I didn't care, I was getting leaner and my back was getting much stronger so it was successful.
My workouts progressed out of the basement and into a gym setting and one of my good friends and co-workers, Kevin started working out with me. It wasn't long before he said to me, "You really need to be doing this for a living."
At this point I had lost over 60 pounds of fat, could run 7 miles in under an hour, had no more back pain that prevented me from doing the lifting I enjoyed and was living the lifestyle of health and fitness.
When Kevin said these words to me a lightbulb went off in my head... I love this lifestyle, I love how I feel and I want everyone to know this feeling! In an instant I knew what I had been looking for!
I immediately took action on what today has become an extraordinary adventure and journey in my life. I had no idea at the time when I decided to become a certified personal trainer where that decision would lead me to and where I am at today.
I say this because there has been so many changes in my journey, all of which has molded me and enabled me to grow as a trainer, a coach, as a Father, a Business Owner and as a role model to others.
I wake up excited to do work (and have fun) each and every day. I have been training men and women for over 13 years now and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be in this industry Leading from the Front for the rest of my life.
I have no idea where this journey will continue to take me with years to come.
I had no clue that my journey would have its times of failures, hardships, victories and life changing lessons.
All I knew at that time is that I made a decision based on my Passion, stepped out of my comfort zone and followed my heart... which is exactly what I'm encouraging you to do right now no matter where you are in life.
Before you ask why you let me ask, why not you?
Maybe you've tried something before or maybe you've been too scared to step out and venture into the unknown.
Best piece of advice I can give you for that is, don't fall victim to circumstances, don't believe you're not good enough and certainly don't think you don't have anything to offer others.
Believe it or not, you have a tremendous gift to share with your peers.
What that may be I don't know but I do know that living a life built around Your Passion is the ultimate way to achieve a lifestyle on your terms, what ever that means to you.
I use to think it meant a life of ultra success, money, maybe fame and stature, with the exotic cars, multiple houses, girls on both arms. Material things are nice, but they don't make me who I am.
And hey, that stuff may be important and true to some but through the lessons I've learned along my journey I've come to discover, these kinds of things are just not what I'm in it for.
What I have learned along the way is my life has so much more meaning when its based on serving, giving and being a positive role model to others.
It doesn't mean I don't strive to make a decent living this way, it just means that my values have changed of what living life on my own terms means.
How did I come to discover this?
I'll be honest, it wasn't an easy lesson and its one that I sometimes still struggle with today. Yep, just like you I have my bad days too.
It all started once I decided to go into business for myself.
After I received my personal training certification I went to work Part Time for the local gym. I was still working my full time job at the trucking company and working on my own fitness goals so my day typically consisted of waking up early and going for a 2 mile run or completing a Tae Bo workout (remember those VHS tapes?).
From there I would work at the warehouse from 6:30 am - 3 pm then go straight to the gym, do my second workout (or 3rd if you want to count my trucking job) of the day and then train clients from about 5 pm till 9 or 10 at night.
I did this Monday through Friday and worked at the gym on the weekends as well. The long hours didn't phase me as I was doing what I loved.
I loved being at the gym. I was building a new career, making new friends, learning a hell of a lot, making lots of mistakes, asking even more questions and training hard with the guys that were way stronger and better than me.
At the point I was hired as a trainer I was a lean 185 - 190 pounds so my attention changed to building up muscle mass. I trained with some of the local bodybuilders and thats when my training really took on a new meaning and focus.
I applied everything I learned from these guys and my growth was astounding... some were even asking if I using Steroids.
Nope, just lifting big, eating big and still doing my early morning running or Tae Bo because I enjoyed it. At my best shape I weighed in around 215-220 at 8 - 10% body fat.
I was never the ripped guy and had absolutely no desire (still don't) to jump up on stage in my underwear. I won't lie to ya, I'm that guy who still likes to enjoy life so its probably a good thing that I enjoy the Iron so much.
Here's a couple of pics of me from back in the day trying to look all Fly, GQ, Egotistical, whatever you wanna call it...
Sorry if I got a little off track there - my mind works that way sometimes and I'll be honest, I haven't talked about my old training days in a very long time and its fun to reflect on but lets get back to why you're here reading...
As my client base grew at the gym I was working at I knew my time with my full time loading job was coming to a close after being there for over 5 years. But I wasn't considering a Full time position at the gym, instead I decided to open my own personal training facility with the help of a franchise.
This decision was rather impulsive and I moved quickly to making this opportunity happen.
I won't get into all the details of opening my first personal training facility but I will say I learned a lot of business and life lessons along the way. And the lessons of what not to do have helped me tremendously with everything I do today.
Here are some pics of that personal training facility...
I bought into the franchise model as I was influenced by some books that I read and the franchise itself that this would be the ultimate way to leverage myself as a leader in the industry; I bought into the short cut approach. Was that a mistake?
That's probably the toughest question I ask myself today. If I had it to do all over again, would I? Meaning, would I of started with the franchise model or just go at it on my own if I had that decision to make all over again.
Even though the franchise failed, I took away so many lessons from it that I feel benefit me today and had I not learned these things I seriously doubt I'd be anywhere close to where I am as I write this.
The #1 Lesson I Learned was to Follow Your Heart - Do Not Chase Money!
I feel into this trap very hard even though I couldn't recognize it at all. I had my Passion, Fitness and wanting to help others; however, I could of started building a business built on serving others through my passion rather than build an expensive place for people to come to.
The problem with this was if I didn't get what I wanted, MONEY, nobody was going to be happy.
Here's what I mean...
I had to chase money with my first gym because when I started up my business I had taken on loans (DEBTS), rent, business expenses (marketing, insurance, paychecks, electricity, water, phone, internet, etc) and I needed to provide a living.
I HAD to do everything that I could to make sure all these things were met and that meant working extremely long hours, training people I didn't have a good fit for and turning away people who I wanted to work with but who couldn't afford my services.
Don't get me wrong here, I loved every single client I worked with - just some were suited for my style of training and coaching and some weren't. Some got great results, the others didn't. Can you guess which ones did?
Here is the lesson I learned once I recognized the mistake I had made - I had became a SELL OUT! I had done exactly what I didn't want to do in the trucking company and I had no one to blame but myself... very tough pill to swallow.
Remember when I said I dreaded Mondays... the Mondays I hated were the ones when I owned my first gym. I was much happier in the days as a truck loader - go figure!
My days were long, stressful, filled with worry and angst. I was drained mentally and physically, I started gaining weight again. I was eating poorly, I was making excuses for myself, I started playing the what if game and the should of game with myself.
My relationship with the girl I was dating suffered, my relationship with my son and family suffered. I was a total mess and on top of it all, I WASN'T EVEN ABLE TO PAY ALL MY BILLS!
I was LIVING A LIE NOT MY PASSION!
Eventually, the franchise I was a part of closed me down giving me a cease and desist letter because I wasn't making the minimum royalty payments. My dream had fallen apart and for the first time in 6 years I felt one thing that mattered most to me - RELIEF.
Now, I was extremely upset, disappointed in myself and the franchise, broke and wondering if I even belonged in the fitness industry. By the way, this all happened during the biggest recession period of 2008 - 2010. I was one of the 20% of gyms that close during the recession.
Wanna know how I know that 20% of gyms in America closed during that time frame? Because I started to look for these types of statics to blame.
I blamed my location, I blamed the franchise, I blamed my marketing but I never put the blame on where it should of been placed, myself!
And Hey, other gyms managed to stay open during the recession, and some were even able to grow so the truth is I can't put the blame there.
I had to OWN up to the fact that for whatever reason, this business model was not following my true passion and because of that my business failed, I failed myself and I had failed my clients. Not a happy day.
I have another blog post about the way I was feeling when that time of my life hit me and the instant decision I made to take back my passion and start anew. You can read that blog post here - When its time to fight back
Ok, so I said there was a difference between chasing money and chasing passion right. Well here is where I changed things up, dramatically!
I still needed to make a living and I didn't want to do anything else but work with people and help them with their health and fitness goals - this Passion still THRIVED in me and it does today just as strong, if not stronger as it did the first day I started my personal training career.
The big difference was that I was going to establish MY OWN parameters (no franchise telling me what I could and couldn't do), I was going to work the hours I wanted to work and I was going to train the clients that were a good fit for me AND I was going to make it much more affordable so I didn't have to turn anybody away who truly wanted what I had to offer.
No longer would I be a slave and no longer did I need to take on everybody and anybody just to pay the bills. Those who appreciate my skills and want to train hard are those that are members of the Mayhem family today.
Those who aren't a good fit, are complainers and negative don't last long and I won't cater to them - don't want to, don't have to.
My energy is better spent on serving my clients and giving them what they need, not on gossip and negativity. You'll NEVER see me feed this kind of monster.
This is one of my code of ethics I live by and I wrote that down as one of my core values when I started the new business model which is known today as Mayhem Fitness & Cross Training.
When I started this company I was once again pursuing my PASSION!
I didn't worry about the money, still don't today. When you chase your passion and LEAD from the FRONT people that appreciate what you have to offer follow.
I'll continue to pursue my passion which is to help as many people as I possibly can and is the main reason I started up this Blog - MurphysMayhem.com a while back.
(Although, I have recently dedicated more time to it than in years past, the reason is simple, Passion will give you more time to do the things you want to do!)
I use this tool as my platform to help those who are looking for the kind of content I put out there. And I do this for FREE! Why?
Because its what I LOVE TO DO!
When I receive emails, comments and Facebook likes, that lets me know that what I'm doing is helping and that people appreciate what I have to offer.
Does this mean I'm always right? NOPE. Does it mean I'm always happy with my word choices and rambling that I do often, nah... but I'm not trying to be perfect... I'm just trying to help with my best efforts.
After all, thats all I can be, my absolute best... and for the haters... I love them too.
Why? Because like it or not, they are extra fans that I have. They still follow what I'm doing. Why would anyone who didn't like what I put out there follow me and waste their energy on negativity? I don't waste my time hating on others, don't need to.
I'm confident in my abilities and love what I do and helping men and women with their health and fitness goals is all I will ever do.
I encourage you to LIVE YOUR PASSION. Find what you love to do, what you're passionate about and go make a difference in somebody's life.
You don't need to have any money to start. When I started MXT I was broke and in a LOT of debt... in fact I'm still paying off some of those old debts today!
I didn't have anything but my love for fitness and desire to help others.
I found a way to make it happen and did it - No Excuses, No Blaming Circumstances or Others, No Bad Mouthing Anybody, No Chasing Money - Just Living My Code Of Ethics and Following my Passion.
Its the BEST Decision I have ever made in my life.
Are you Living Your Passion? Whether its your own business, your job, volunteer work, blogging, your church, etc etc...
If so, I would love to hear about it in the comments box below. Share your story with others as you never know who it may help!
If not and would like to, here is a Quick Checklist of my most important tips to help you get started
- Define what your passion is
- Be a LEADER and be true to yourself!
- Define who you want to help
- Write down your core values
- Get busy today working on your passion whatever those steps may be for you
- Follow Through, Always Believe, Don't Ever Give Up and Don't Give your time to the haters
- Inspire and Lead others with your Passion each and every day
Get Work Done!
PS: Here are some Blogs I've written that talks about my journey, how I started, the steps I took, my feelings at the time, etc. Hope this helps somebody today!
PSS: And hey, maybe your 9-5 Job is your Passion and you're living it every day... this post wasn't to slam anyone or anything they do. There are many who struggle with what they do and feel there is more to life, this blog post was intended for those individuals who want more out of life.
Love Hard, Live Passionately & Die Strong With No Regrets Maniacs!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your Comments Are Appreciated!